Friday, October 31, 2008

Wonderful Fall

I love this time of year. Pumpkins, leaves, candy corn, cold-but-not-too-cold weather. I am dressing up as a ladybug tonight. I know, it's kind of juvenile, but I want to. Plus, I'm tired of girls using Halloween as an excuse to wear next to nothing. So, in protest, I'm covering up as much skin as I possibly can. Anyway...
We are going to a Haunted House. I'm excited, because there is something thrilling about being scared. I hope it's fun and not lame. Sometimes things in little towns like this can be hyped up and turn out to be the most boring part of your life that you have ever experienced. Like the local festival in the spring here, which everyone said it would be SO fun, but in truth, every booth sold the same items and my cell phone was stolen by a bunch of punk high school kids. oh well. I'm sure it will be a good time.
I am putting a picture up with this post that I took in Kansas City at Worlds of Fun. Rachel, Alyssa, and Shannon were riding a ride, and I was waiting for them because I felt like I was going to throw up. That has never happened to me when riding roller coasters, but it did on that trip. Which was sad, but I was secretly glad because I got to sit under a tree with yellow leaves and think and it was fun. We also ate caramel apples there, and I felt really autumn-y. Except the caramel on mine was about ten inches thick and it was hard to eat. But luckily Shannon will eat anything I don't want, so she just ate all the extra caramel and I got to eat the sour green apple. Yum.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tiresome

When I'm tired, every little thing is magnified. Like, I get annoyed or upset about things that shouldn't even bother me. On Monday night I stayed up doing school work until four in the morning, which was stupid. That made the next day horrible. And then, when I was trying to do homework last night I was falling asleep. So I went to bed before ten. Which never happens.

So what's the point?

I've just been thinking about how much I let my situations or feelings affect me. I let situations like this define how I react to things, or how I respond to people. I shouldn't let how tired I feel make me act a certain way. I feel like I do that too much.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

What to do?

It's cold and rainy outside, I'm listening to Coldplay and drinking tea. A perfect evening. Or, it would be, if I could figure out what to write about for my column due to the newspaper by tomorrow at five. I feel so grown up when I have to meet a deadline like this. I also feel scared when I put a piece of writing out there. It's like wearing that new dress that you're not sure about. What will people say about me? Do they like this? Do they think I'm weird? I know you can't please everyone, and I know that not everyone is going to like my article or even read it, but it's still a part of me.

Kind of like this.

This has become sort of a confession booth for me. I can just talk about what's going on in my head and ramble on and no one really reads it, but it's out there and I like that. I express my thoughts and it's fun and fulfilling.

Here's a thought. I work in the writing center at my school, and the other day a girl came in with a paper about slavery. Defending it , actually. She was trying to be all controversial, I could tell. She wasn't agreeing that it was right, but she was trying to defend her view that we (American people) have made it worse than it was. And I wasn't tutoring her, but I was listening. In disbelief.
I have been reading a lot of slave narratives lately in one of my classes, and I can tell you that it was horribly worse than we can ever imagine, not the other way around. And we forget about it, and we forget that slavery still exists. I know, I haven't done anything about it. But, as I was reading Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" for class tomorrow, I realized that I need to do something about it. Why talk? We can talk about what's going on until our faces turn blue and our mouth dries out, but if we refuse to act what do we accomplish?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

One of my favorites...

Introduction To Poetry


I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

Billy Collins


Procrastination in a cup of tea


Today was a perfect weather day. It was cloudy, cold, misty, with that fall chill in the air. The tops of trees are orange and I am just in love with fall. I should be writing my paper right now but I hate that class so I don't care at the moment. I am about to make a cup of tea, which will be my third cup of the day. That's another thing this weather makes me do. Drink an insane amount of hot beverages. I found the best organic tea this summer. It's called Yogi tea and there are crazy kinds like Women's Moon Cycle and Fasting and they are wonderful. The tea tag has a little saying of wisdom on it too, like, "Let things come to you." Haha. Really deep, I know. But I really am obsessed with this tea. You can get it at health food stores, and you should, because it is amazing. I am leaving to make some this second. Maybe it will infuse me with the wisdom to write the next four pages of my paper. Ugh.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Dreaming of Europe


I miss Europe. The pace of life, the culture, the oldness of it. On Monday we had a rep from an international school in Germany come to one of my classes. She talked about teaching overseas and the great opportunity we could be a part of if we took a chance and went over there. I really want to, and I'm seriously thinking about doing that when I graduate in a year. In a YEAR. That is scary, and it is intimidating to think about going to another country by myself. But the possibility is so exciting too.

I have an eight page paper to write...

So, after having this account for ages and not posting or anything, I am starting tonight, when I should be writing my paper over 18th century literature. I don't care. I still have until Thursday. Tonight Carrie, Alyssa, Rachel, Shannon and I went to Fayetteville to shop. On a Tuesday. It was fun to do that in the middle of the week. Actually, we had to get a wedding present for our friends, but it was still fun. And can I just say that I love Target? If you don't you have a problem.
I feel like everyone is getting married. It is exciting in a way, but it is so weird too. I am tired but I wanted to post at least once so I feel like this blog has some kind of purpose, even if it is just for me to ramble on about nothing.