21

I'm 21 now! I didn't really get to do anything that exciting, but this weekend I will be in Tulsa and I will. When I was younger, I thought 21 was so old. Now I realize that next year I will be 22, then after that, 23, and so on. I don't need to keep going with that. I know that sounded ridiculous. I'm just saying, I'm going to enjoy 21 while I can, because the time flies.

I'm writing my first column for the year right now. I know, it's just a small opinions column that not many people read, but I still know I need to put a lot of thought into it, because they are my words. People can take print any way they want to, because you are not there to defend it, and you can't let them hear the tone of voice you want it to be in, or maybe why you even wrote a certain statement in the first place. That's the part of writing that is extremely scary. That's why it has to be exactly how you want it to be, as concrete as it can be, with little or no room for someone to make an erroneous judgment about it. Yet, that is one reason I love writing. It's a challenge, and it's exciting.

I think I need to stop writing about writing. Other things do happen in my life. But what can I say, I'm an English major.

BRRR......

Wow, it's cold out. We got a storm alright. My two classes this afternoon were canceled, which is nice. It's going to be a mess tomorrow, though, because all the slush is going to freeze. It looks really pretty though. Pretty, but dangerous, because as I was walking to class tree branches were cracking and falling all around me.

I want an ice storm, please...

So, the forecast calls for bad weather the next couple of days. Of course, this means I receive calls from my mom warning me not to drive anywhere, and it means that it's FREEZING outside. I just want to spend one day curled up in my room, drinking tea and watching movies, not worrying about homework. Will this happen? Will my classes be canceled? I doubt it, but it would be kind of nice. I know, I know, I shouldn't be wanting canceled class this early in the semester, but I can't help myself. (Not to mention that I just spent the weekend not worrying about homework) By the way, my 21st birthday is on Wednesday! Whoohoo

Life and Edgar Allen Poe

For Christmas, I got a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's major tales and poems. It has a really cool cover, with a creepy raven on the front. I thought of you, Shannon, when I saw it. Not that you are creepy, but I just think you would like it. Anyway, Poe had an interesting mind, although it was kind of twisted. I just really enjoy his stuff because it was original. He wrote about what he wanted to, and he made it one of a kind, and I still haven't read anything like it, even today. Here's a little excerpt of "Annabel Lee", one of my favorite poems by Poe:
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee-
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

She was a child and I was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love which was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee -
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

The poem goes on to depressingly state that the speaker is forever separated from Annabel Lee, which is exactly what makes the poem so Poe-ish.
After reading the stories or poems, I can shut the book and remember that I am so grateful to be living the life that I am living, and that maybe when I write my own poetry or columns for the paper, they will be refreshing and hopeful. I know it sounds a little over-optimistic, but that's what I'm striving to be these days. Because I realized-who wants to live a life of complaining and negativity? No one, I hope. I realize I have been too much like that at times. That's what I love about literature. It gives me different perspectives, and introduces me to new worlds, whether that world is one of the parties and marriages of 19th century England (thanks to Jane Austen), or the life of a young slave girl in 19th century America (thanks to Harriet Jacobs), or to a strange, upside-down mind, thanks to Poe. I read fiction, and am enthralled, as I have been since I was little, but then I shut the book and realize that I have so much to experience and learn and live for. And it's exciting.

A New Semester....

I'm trying to work on a lot of things this semester. One of them being keeping up with my blog. I realize that I only post about once every month, and I need to write more. I'm also making more of an effort in my quiet time with God. I feel like I let my spiritual relationship slide last semester, and I got so preoccupied with the craziness of school that I didn't fully realize how far down I had gone. I've always had a struggle with the quiet time thing, and I know now, as I have been doing it consistently, that it makes such a huge difference. I'm not saying that if you don't have quiet time every day that you are horrible or anything, but it is so important. At least to me. Because I realize what I have been missing. I want so much to be doing what he wants me to do, and I want to know him more and in the best possible way that I can. He just needs to come first for me, and that has not been the case. Anyway...
I'm also trying to be more positive. I feel like I complain about stupid stuff and let things affect me and get to me, and I don't want to be like that. I have been focusing on that, and having that mindset has helped a lot too.
Classes have started again, and I am pretty unsure about them so far. I just don't know what to expect, which is also kind of exciting. I am having trouble wanting to do homework. I have been doing everything I can but homework. So in light of that, I am now going to read Redeeming Love, which my friend Rachel recommended and new roommate Kristen just lent me to read. So goodbye for now.